Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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