Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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