Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
