you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We are all done wearing pants today
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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