wat bout pragnant strippers??
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
