Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
