nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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