you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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