You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
