I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
