I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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