hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
