He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
