ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
