ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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