Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
