Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
