We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
