I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
