My hand turned me down
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
