If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
