it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
