Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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