Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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