Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
40s are totally the cure
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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