I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
