So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
