Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
