I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
There r osticjed everywhere
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
