I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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