This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
