that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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