i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
