Swine flu. Run for my life!
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Randomize
