I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
