What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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