I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
