i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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