i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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