Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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