It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
