Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
