I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
