I cockslap morals
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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