dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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