So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
