I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
