You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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