i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
