Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
